Uh, yeah...

So it's been a while and I have not posted. I guess I get twenty lashes for that one. Long story short, I had some problems with my old steam powered computer, so I bought a new one. I'm back up and running, so I should have no excuse for not posting more often.

Lil' sis is still in the hospital. She should be getting out soon. Her infection in her lungs seems to be clearing up.

Let's hear it for beer!!!

If it is so important, why aren't you here?

So the Blythewood Masonic Lodge annual fundraiser BBQ was this weekend. Let me start off by saying that I do not enjoy this event.

I got to the Lodge at 6:45. My job in this annual bloodletting it to stoke the fire barrels, shovel hot coals on the end of a shovel with a 10' extended metal handle, load flip and remove the chickens, and generally be a spare set of hands. I am supposed to be on first shift. This usually works out just fine and dandy. I help cook about 500 of the 800 chickens, the other 300 are handled by second shift, who doesn't work as hard, but it is hotter in the afternoon so it's fair in the end.

Unless, there is no second shift.

Only one person assigned to second shift managed to show up. So, I was there until 5:30. Overheated, exhausted, sweaty, smelly, and with a very bad angry streak by that time as well.

All of this because a bunch of grumpy old men, most of whom have lifetime memberships and do not pay dues, are too stupid to realize that we cannot afford to operate on $50 per year dues per member with only 120 members. (Actually, about 75 of those pay dues!) So instead of having a fundraiser to help someone in the community, we have a fundraiser to support our laziness and ignorance.

I'm not cooking chicken any more. For the record: if the dues are not raised to fully fund the Lodge operations, I'm not helping with the fundraiser. The fundraiser should help the community, not support our sloth.

So here is a cute picture of Princess Poopy Pants to cheer us all up!

STOP

Collaberate and Listen.


So I was asked to be the Vice Prez of my Sunday School class. One well meaning member thanked me for accepting my spiritual calling.

...


...


OR!!! Maybe I'm too dumb to say nyet.

So I digress.

Big thanks to my gun buddy "Jeff." We'll call him "Jeff" because it's his name. As my loyal minions recall, I don't change names to protect the guilty. "Jeff" assembled my new AR-15 for me so I can be ready for Comerade Obamalamadingdong's revolution.

(Did that sound like some sort of uber-right wing conservative paranioa? Just checking.)

I miss the Mongrel, but I think I've fallen in luuuuuv with my ragged old tractor. Even if it makes my back hurt after cutting fields for hours.

This post is what my life would look like if I were on facebook.

What water damage?

Okay, so I'm not the best at home repair. In fact, I'm really bad at it.

But really, if the bathroom over your kitchen leaks so bad the top of your cabinets collapse, maybe just maybe it might be time to fix something.

I knew I should have paid more attention in college and not become a home inspector. Today's house was rough. Not one of my better inspection days.

There's some lovely filth down here!

So, DeerDotter figured out the wonders that is a sandbox. True, her first exposure was the remnants of a bag of peat moss I dumped into a hole that the Doggie Wonder has been working on for 11 years. Who knew that so little muck can go so far?

Now Wunnerful Wifey wants a sandbox.

I predict my obsessive compulsive cleanliness will go into convulsive fits any moment now.

But let's face reality: who doesn't want a giant litter box for the entire cat commuinity to grace in their yard? Hmm? Hmm? That's what I thought! Well, I guess a sand box will offset the "neavoux blanc garbage chic" look that our place has taken on. You know, overgrown failed garden, junk truck behind a workshop full of classic cars, carpeted screened porch, blah blah blah.

I predict my laundry will increase any day now.

Storytime Bomb...

So, Princess Poopy Pants was a little monster at the local library storytime today.

I had such high hopes, I guess I will withdraw my application for parent of the year.

Anyway, I was lucky enough to find another SAHD in the Blythewood area after my column in The Blythewood Leader was published. We met up for a kiddie play date at the park. Good times were had by all, until it rained. I'm not entirely sure either kid realized the other was there.

So we took repast in the local library for storytime. There were several other kids and a group of SAHM's there already. This being my first attempt at storytime with the Lil' Manager, I tried to keep her under control and look like I wasn't a total ninny.

I failed.

The SAHM's that were already there looked at me like I just fell out of the sky. I guess a SAHD is not a regular appearance there.

Anyway, Princess Poopy Pants was in full EXPLORE!!! form. She wanted to look around, and my efforts to restrian here led to her whining. So we left. I didn't want to disturb the others too much. Oh well, maybe she will be a good girl next time.

I did enjoy meeting another SAHD. It's the first time I have met another in real life.

Ever get really disappointed by something? That's me.

I made the mistake of having high hopes about the Scottish Rite Master Craftsman Program. I anticipated deep and in-depth study of the moral and philosophical teachings of the Scottish Rite degrees. It is not. The essay question is "What did you learn that most surprised you in this course?"

C'mon, really?

Freemasonry for the uneducated. I'm less than impressed.

If anyone can recommend to me a reasonable cell phone plan I'm interested. I don't think it's worth having a home phone and two cell phones. Sadly, I'm firmly trapped by the monopoly that is AT&T. (Don't we have anti-monopoly laws? Didn't AT&T get broken up once already? I digress...) I cannot find a way to enable us to still be able to talk to our friends and family in the upstate and out of state, and spend less than we do now. If we go to two unlimited cell plans, we spend about $40 more per month, INCLUDING cancelling the home phone.

Technology is such a pain. I'm ready to pull the plug.

But isn't the little Curtain Climber cute?