Dear Joe Wilson

Your robo-dialer telemarketing has cost you my vote.

I don't care what the law says, your constant harassment is telemarketing. I do not vote for people who harass by telemarketing.

Just an FYI.

For the record

Kershaw County litter control is likely the largest group of lazy incompetent buffoons on the planet.

They refuse to collect dumped trash.

They refuse to prosecute people caught in the act.

They do not return calls.

They do not do anything but suck up tax dollars with no benefit to the public.

Director Spivey and Administrator Young, I'm talking about you.

If you doubt me, prove that they are not. They refuse to do their job.

Just my luck

Looks like we are keeping the cat.

I've named it Speedbump.

What's wrong with people?

I think everyone here knows that I live out in the middle of not much. My road is divided by a county line, so neither Richland nor Kershaw Sheriff Dept. patrols very regularly. This leads to a lot of speeders and litterbugs. I pick up an average of a grocery bag full of trash every day on my two mile round trip walk up and down the Richland county side.

Today, on the way back from the doctor's office I saw a large blue plastic bag in the road, so I slowed down and snagged it to save some time this evening during the walk. I have the doors off the Jeep, so it was easy to pick it up without getting out. I noticed it was heavier than I expected, but not very heavy. I figured something was in it, so I was glad that I didn't hit it at 55 miles per hour and possibly put a hole in a tire. I got home, got the kid out of the car seat, gathered up the mail in the diaper bag, slung the bag over my shoulder and snagged the kid with the other arm. As a second thought, I grabbed the trash bag with a few remaining fingers and marched off to the house. Got on the porch, set the kid down and unlocked the door, sat the diaper bag on the counter and scooted the kid inside.

Then the trash bag went "meow."

What in the name of God is wrong with some people?

Now I think it's also well known that I don't like cats (or kittens in this case) but I also don't just tie them up in a plastic bag and toss them out a car window for them to get run over.

It's called a soul. Maybe that person should look into getting one.

I've been gone a while

For no apparent reason, I've been busily doing nothing really productive. Good news is my garden is growing like it has been watered with methamphetamines and all my cars are running pretty good.

I've made a little progress on the 59 Rustbucket Plymouth in the shop. I also cleaned that dump up and got an alignment machine from a buddy of mine. If I could get rid of some 1980 and older Dodge truck parts that are in my way I'd be set.

Widdle Gurl is doing great. She's crazy about bubbles and painting now. She'll blow bubbles in the yard for hours and hours. Of course, she does not notice that it's 98 degrees and I'm sweating like Obama on a lie detector. She is doing well in her speech therapy sessions too.

I would like any input on how we can pay off our mortgage faster without robbing a bank. We've already cut our expenses to the core (no sattelite, best deal possible on phones and interweb, cut the power usage for a lower bill, best insurance deals available, etc.) but we can't seem to come up with enough to make a few extra payments per year. Right now we can only get one or two extra per year at best.

This had better work

Thanks to my wunnerful wifey, we got the garden fertilized. Sadly, my own incompetence made using a fertilizer spreader impossible, so we had to spread 600 pounds of fertilizer, lime and gypsum by hand. It's all plowed in and ready. Waiting on the ground temp to come up so I can get the seeds in.

Had a great weekend. If you didn't see us, they you are the only people that were not at the zoo this weekend. It was crowded to say the least, but Princess Poopy Pants had a great time.

I also have a Steam style beer in primary fermentation. I got it going yesterday, and it just started bubbling. I think I will go back to running a secondary fermentation on this batch. I'm also experimenting with a bottom fermenting lager yeast instead of my usual top fermenting ale yeast. We'll see how that goes.

Here we go again

This past weekend I was teaching the Scottish Rite class. It was the traditional two weekend fast class. This is the class that all the old farts claim is the best way to do a class, instead of the longer 9 month program where you come one Wednesday night per month for a few hours.

Because I was curious, or a jerk, or a curious jerk, I counted the roll.

At the last business meeting there were 53 in attendance. At the degree, there were 22.

That tells me that 31 people think there is more Freemasonry in a meeting where we hear the minutes of the last meeting read and a bunch of grumpy old men argue about carpet cleaning or adding lights outside the building or giving lapel pins out to members who have good attendance.

Dear Columbia Valley of the Scottish Rite,
Give me a good reason to pay my dues, which you increased this year, to counter the reasons you have given me to quit.

Signed,
A member who joined to learn something instead of just to get another stupid looking hat.

23

Yup, 23.

That's the number of fruit producing plants that went into the ground at the Cooper farm this weekend.

Last week I planted 15 blueberries thanks entirely to Marty Patterson and his father in law who gave them to me.

I added peaches, pears, apples, figs, plums, blackberries and muscadines to the mix over the weekend. I'm now waiting on a soil sample to return from the Clemson Extension office to figure out what fertilizer I need for the veggie garden. At She Who Must Be Obeyed direction, I will be broadcasting the fertilizer then discing it into the soil before the garden is laid out. In the works for the veggie garden: tomatoes (lots and lots) cucumbers, squash, zucini, potatoes, onions, field peas, green beans, bell peppers, watermelon, and whatever herbs I am told to get.

I hope I can get a better result than last years abject failure.

Computer is back

So, the broken laptop came back today. Loaded with Vista.

Step one, overwrite Vista.

Step two, talk to Jeff about installing Linux on a dual boot.

Step three, continue to hate Microsoft.

That is all.

Global warming?

Yup, 4 1/2 inches of global warming fell on my little empire this weekend. Lil' Boogers had a good time playing in it for a few hours. She particularly like global warmingball fights. Particularly being hit by the global warmingballs. She built a global warmingman and played with a neighbor's sled (which she did not like) until everyone was numb from the cold.

It's amazing how little global warming it takes to shut down the entire city!

Cruise Ship Bingo

The newest game sensation; Cruise Ship Bingo! (tm, copyright Cooper Heavy Industires LLC, all rights reserved)

Here are the things that make you go "WHAT!"

1: Man wearing cow print pants.
2: Old man in leisure suit.
3: Drunk woman at the lifeboat drill before the ship sails.
4: Man in cowboy boots and large belt buckle the whole cruise.
5: Man in black socks and sandals.
6: Hairy chested dude with lots of gold necklaces.
7: Fat guy in a speedo.
8: Mr. T starter set. (more than 5 gold necklaces!)
9: Willie the Pimp. Okay, not the actual Willie from People Of Wal-Mart fame, but he looked close enough.
10: Bluegrass band playing "Purple Rain."


I'll repeat that if you weren't listening...

10: Bluegrass band playing "Purple Rain."

11: Comedian that was not even remotely funny.
12: Guy in swimsuit and suspenders.
13: Guy from #12 with hairy chest and nipple rings.
14: Very Very Very bad toupe'. It looked like a cat sitting on a bald man.
15: Elvira wannabe.
16: Man perpetually drunk. Everywhere he was he had a drink and a stumble. Even breakfast every day.
17: Grumpy church group in matching tee shirts complaining about everything.
18: People who cannot fold towels into animals. Even with lots of coaching.
19: Prosti-teens. If you are 13, you should not dress like a hooker.

You're welcome.

Cozumel

It really is more like the arm pit of all Mexico.

And Mexico really isn't much to brag about in the first place.

I love technology

Yet another blog that starts with a lie for a title.

After using my laptop computer Monday evening, I shut it down just like normal. When I tried to start it up Tuesday morning to no avail. So I had the pleasure of trying to trouble shoot it most of Tuesday. I left it with my buddy Jeff to try to get it running, and he got it working mostly this evening.

Isn't technology supposed to make my life easier? What happened to the wonderful and bug proof Windows 7?

Just my grumpy attitude I guess.

Maybe when I'm in a better mood I will tell the wonderful tale of Princess Poopy Pants' second birthday we had Sunday...

Out of the blue and into the red

It's no real secret that I like red cars. The 57 is red, the Mongrel was red, and now my daily driver Jeep is red.

Yup, project Earthcrosser has ditched the beat down and grungy paint and got a nice coat of (leftover) Scorch Red urethane. Looks like a new Jeep. Now I just have to fix up the interior.

Other good news, everyone is over the swine flu.

I finished my goal of reading the Bible on December 31. Now I am starting a 2 year reading plan in the English Standard Study Bible that She Who Must Be Obeyed gave me for my birthday.

Our annual Twelfth Night party has come and gone. Everything went well as far as I know. Next year the date returns to it's normal weekend.

But on a sad note, my friend James Devenny's mother passed away on December 30. Prayers for James...